Whats In A Name
What’s in a name?
Wednesday, 31 January 2007
After recently walking down the aisle, I had to weigh up whether or not I should change my surname to that of my husband. I began to wonder whether Shakespeare was correct when he said:
“that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet”. (Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2))
Obviously, Shakespeare showed us that being named Montague or Capulet whilst living in Verona certainly mattered. But would a female psychiatry registrar still smell as sweet after changing her name after marriage? What effect would it have on my identity and professional life? Would we think Freud was so sexy if his name had been Higginbottom?
Over a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, I asked my girlfriends for advice. My independent, modern, feminist friends thought that it was antiquated, and that I would be announcing to the world that I am my husband’s property. They made the point that I would be risking the professional name that I had built up for myself: I have been through medical school, internship, psychiatry training and exams with my maiden name. Perhaps changing my name would somehow throw all of this away.
On the other hand, lots of my happily married friends had made the plunge to become a “Mrs”. They told me about their feelings of unity with their spouse, and their pride in announcing that they are mature and committed to one man. It is also apparently fashionable again to change your name!
Then there are the practicalities to consider. Changing your name involves filling in countless forms and sending dozens of certified copies of your marriage certificate There are the usual agencies to think of, such as banks, passport, driver’s licence etc, but as doctors we have the additional bureaucracy of the College, Medical Board, and HIC. However, it must be said that if you can handle the College paperwork for exams, then changing your name seems simple!
Another important issue is that we are in a fairly unique profession where patients and colleagues know us mainly by our surnames. In psychiatry, we are even more aware than other medical specialties of the importance of maintaining boundaries and our own privacy. In psychotherapy, we begin to sweat when asked questions such as “where are you going on holiday?” When we change our names, it is pretty obvious that there has been a major change in our life (that and the wedding ring on our finger!), and our patients can then imagine and project all sorts of things onto us. Maybe they’ll start asking about our partners or if we are planning a family, although on the positive side, this could provide some great material for sessions!
And what about our own sense of identity? Professional females often delay major life events such as marriage and families until after our career is established, or at least until exams are out of the way. We therefore go through our formative adult years with a certain name and identity. Does our sense of self change when we change our name? Some of us may already be professionally known for lots of fabulous presentations and publications (not me, sadly!) and will we lose that recognition when a Medline search for the author no longer brings up those fascinating papers?
It was a difficult decision to make. After mulling it over, I decided to be an old fashioned girl and take the plunge…
Therefore, signing off...
Dr Dawn Barker (née Cowling)