1. Slay the Nemean Lion and bring back its hide.
Trainees are required to deliver 40 sessions of therapy (and we mean 40, not 38) to someone, anyone, who will actually stick it out for that time.  We know that this is difficult, but we just want you to ring around and beg.

2. Slay the 9-headed Lernaean Hydra.
Trainees are required to understand that they are really quite imperfect, and if they wish to succeed in any way in this field, they will be required to divest themselves of any vestige of personality.  Smiling remains allowable, but make sure it doesn’t reach your eyes.

3. Capture the Golden Stag of Artemis.
Trainees are required to follow patients up for 9 months, even though we have trickily made your rotations 6 months long.

4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar.
Trainees are required to be trained, although we are in no way responsible for the dissemination of this training.

5. Clean the Augean stables in a single day.
Whether or not you divert a river using your superhuman abilities, being able to successfully sift through coprophagic vitriol is considered a virtue as a psychiatrist.

6. Slay the Stymphalian Birds.
‘Helpful colleagues’ who always seem to have been on call just before you start night shift should be slain, slain badly.

7. Capture the Cretan Bull.
So not doing this. I just spent all day dodging Cretan bull at work.

8. Steal the Mares of Diomedes.
Hercules did a lot of stealing, didn’t he? Steal this, kill that, divert a river. I think this may count as that ‘leadership activity’ for advanced trainees.

 9. Obtain the Girdle of the Amazon warrior queen Hippolyte.
Trainees are required to be practiced in the art of shamelessly flattering supervisors to ensure that the myriad forms (and variations thereof) are signed, and in triplicate.

10. Obtain the Cattle of the Monster Geryon.
This also applies to male supervisors. But just remember, if you’re actually undoing any girdles that’s called “boundary violation”, children.

11. Steal the Apples of the Hesperides, which were strictly guarded by a 100-headed dragon called Ladon.
Trainees are required to demonstrate an ability to liaise with other members of the multi-disciplinary team, recognising their proper place in the hierarchy – i.e. the very bottom….in the pits where the buffaloes bathe.  Yes, there.

12. Capture Cerberus, the guardian dog of Hades, using no weapons and bring him back.
Trainees are required to understand the inner workings of the mental health system.  No we don’t either, but we still expect you to.

By Drs Presbyterian Silvertongue and Flutter By 

Once upon a time (after the new exams were implemented by the College), the tortoise came upon the hare revising DSM-IV-TR criteria for all the anxiety disorders, textbooks akimbo.
“Hi hare, what’s happening?” asked the tortoise.

“Omygod omygod omygod! I’ll never remember this in time. Go away, you’re eating into my study schedule!”

“But there’s still 7 months to go, hare, why are you stressed out now?”  the tortoise replied.

initially wrote this for a martial arts based newsletter, so may not be relevant to this forum.

However it may be interesting reading and may encourage my fellow colleagues (some may not need this!) that it is possible to engage midfully and intensively in activities outside of work, exams etc.

Psychiatry Registrars : Advanced Trainees2 Full Time Positions - Fixed Term 2/2 to 2/8/09Two fixed term vacancies exist for Psychiatry Advanced Trainees at Austin Health Mental Health CSU. Suit registrars who have completed the RANZCP trainee clinical examination with an interest in Women’s Mental Health/Perinatal Psychiatry. You will be part of a dynamic, enthusiastic, friendly team, excellent education and research programs, with a reputation for Registrar exam success.

The Redbank Conference, to be held at Westmead Hospital (Sydney) will take place on Friday 28 November 2008. This year's conference is entitled Psychotic Symptoms in the Context of Trauma: Diagnostic Challenges. Keynote speakers will be Prof Barry Nurcombe and Prof Alison Yung. A number of local discussants will also participate. The conference aims will look at the clinical challenges of making sense of psychotic or psychotic like symptoms in patients presenting with histories of trauma and neglect. Clinicians can often be confused about whether or not such symptoms represent a frank psychotic illness. This has major implications in terms of formulation and management of patients. The topic is therefore of relevance to all trainees.

Well, it has been a long time between columns, for all sorts of reasons.

The hiatus has coincided with a revamp of the anzapt.org site and The Responder – which, I'm reliably told is nearly complete.

Despite the long gap, bits and pieces have been bubbling away.

In July, I attended part of the AMA’s quarterly meeting of the Council of Doctors in Training (DiT).  Representatives from all trainee organizations are welcome to attend and observe, while AMA DiT reps from across Australia meet and discuss.  The Australian Medical Student Association (AMSA) also attend.

It was gratifying to realise that other trainee bodies have very similar issues to us.  However, the difficulties with the RANZCP program have (notoriously) been a standing item in the CDiT agenda for several years and the College has been repeatedly invited to attend the meeting to discuss the chronic concerns.  By neat coincidence, RANZCP finally sent two representatives along to this meeting, for the very first time.

They said all the right things, and I really do think that the new Board of Education, and the people on it, are committed to improving the training experience and have genuine sympathy for trainees.  BUT!   They appear to be focussed on the revamp of the program due to “hit the shelves” in 2011.  Very little was said about what improvements – if any – will be instituted for the current trainee cohort.

I hope that this meeting marks both the start of a closer relationship between ANZAPT and the CDiT, as well as a more responsive RANZCP.  Time will tell…

To those of you sitting exams in October – Best of Luck!Next month, I’ll write about various AMC issues.

- HAM